comments on version 0.21d-001016

[Christopher Ferris <chris.ferris@east.sun.com>]

All,

Here are some comments on 0.21d-001016. Whether we include these
for consideration of a last minute edit (before the vote) or as
input to "phase 2" makes little difference to me. However, most
of the changes are editorial and not technical so they do not
substantively impact the overall document other than to make it
more coherently organized (IMHO).

Cheers,

Chris

44-87 - sect 2 s/b an appendix or at the very least moved to the
	end of the document.
189-215 - this should be a separate section entitled "Document Conventions"
	or something equivalent
221-227 - the more I think about it, the less I am inclined to continue
	to include <self> in the list of "related" documents. This is
	overly redundant IMHO. I think that we should omit these lines
	especially as they are covered elsewhere.
238-245 - suggest that this become a sub-section of section 4
245-274 - this really constitutes the "Summary of the Contents..."
	and not the design objectives. I would suggest that we
	move all of this into what is now section 4.1
276-280 - suggest that this become the body of section 4 "Introduction"
282	- suggest that this be appended to section 4.2 "Audience"
283-294 - suggest that we adopt a subset of section 21 (ie. 21.1-21.3) in the TA draft
	document as our "system overview". This provides a high-level discussion
	as to what the Messaging Service is and does. We could even cut
	it down some (as it is about 3 pages in length).
295	- this section needs a new title. "Definition and Scope" is not
	an appropriate title. See Steve Hole's comment for suggested titles.
1112	- this belongs in Non-Normative section, it is NOT a standard
1118	- this belongs in Non-Normative section, it is NOT a standard


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