RE: Brave new world

["COOPER,STEPHENIE (HP-PaloAlto,ex1)" <stephenie_cooper@hp.com>]

These have been nice discussions.  I guess its about time that I set you all
straight, however, on the spelling of my name.  If it were an XML tag and
you spelled it wrong, your parsers would croak ;-)

HOW MY NAME IS SPELLED

Greetings.  One of my recurring tasks in life is teaching people how to
correctly spell my name.  You are the latest to be the lucky teachee.

You see, I'm one of those contrary types that just has to be different.
The letter 'a' has been abolished from the alphabet from which my name
is spelled, and the letter 'e' has been thrown in as the surrogate vowel,
thus the rendering of my name is as follows:

                     Stephenie Cooper

Many theories have evolved as to just why I had to be different.  You are
invited to choose the theory of your choice, or make up another theory...
whatever will remove the discomfort caused by having to remember how my
name is spelled!

Theory 1:  I'm a Scorpio.  No further explanation required.

Theory 2:  This way no-one will ever nickname me "Fanny".  Note:  No one
           who has tried this is still living.

Theory 3:  I was born on the eve of All Hallow's Eve, which itself is the
           eve of All Saint's Day, which itself is the eve of All Soul's
           Day.  That's 3 eve's, which means there should be 3 e's in
           my name, which there are.

Theory 4:  My fourth grade teacher told me that mine is the French spelling
           of the name.  Well, you must admit that the spelling does have
           a certain je ne sais quois.

Theory 5:  It's the feminine version of Stephen.  It would be another story
           if we were dealing with and effeminate Stefan or Esteban,
           but we're not.

Theory 6:  There is no equivalent to 'e' in the Arabic alphabet.  Loading
           my name with e's is inclusive rather than ethnocentric.

Theory 7:  My lucky number is 5.  The letter 'e' is the 5th letter of the

Theory 8:  A slight variation in spelling may be enough to throw the IRS
           off track.  So far this theory has not been validated by any
           evidence, since names mean nothing to the IRS.

Theory 9:  There is no one else like me.  (To the person who just said,
           "Thank God,"...I heard that!)

Theory 10: Think:  EDI.  E-mail. E-commerce.  E-business.  Stephenie with an
"E".

New theories will only be considered if my name is spelled correctly!